Rehoboth Beach Seashore Marathon - December 6, 2014

I picked this race because it was on my birthday and I  had heard really nice things about it from another runner and it didn't disappoint.

Until yesterday I thought there were 3 things that determine if a long distance race was a success:

• The course - this includes support, course markings
• The weather - this time of year for me than means no ice, temp above 30 and minimal wind
• Performance - Execution of my race plan - which can change based on the other 2 components

Yesterday I had a beautiful, flat, fast course that was well marked and supported. For this runner, I had perfect weather - low to mid 50's, overcast and minimal wind. Unfortunately, I didn't have the performance that I know I trained for, the one that I want for my birthday.

What follows is a chronology of my day - and hopefully, I've found a new definition of success.

Mile 1-3 -
Goal 12:10-12:15
Actual - 12:09, 12:04, 12:02 - I worked really hard to try and stay 'slow'

Mile 4-13 Goal 11:55 - 12:05
Actual - 11:54, 12:18 (GU), 12:00, 12:53 (BR stop), 11:29, 12:01, 11:50; 11:53 (remind myself to watch pace - too early to pick it up)

Mile 12 - 12:14 - I started to feel nauseous.

Pre-race I had come up with some mental strategies for the tough parts of the race. One of them was to think about how an individual that I know insisted that I must walk when I run because a 12:00 minute pace isn't running. I tried to use the anger that I felt to take my mind off how my stomach was feeling.  Those comments were hurtful but also pushed me to prove that I am a runner.

Mile 13 12:22 - I'm still not feeling well.  I'm competing in my first half iron distance triathlon in June and since the run is a half marathon distance my mental strategy now is to use this as training for that race.  I reminded myself how I've felt nauseous coming off  my bike this summer - don't panic I tell myself -  you know how this feels - its ok.

Mile 14 - 12:29 - I'm still not feeling well - stopping every 1/4 mile or so - reminding myself that my peers are uncomfortable and fighting too. My pace has slowed down but I'm still running. I'm doing a lot of self talk - don't try to get your pace back all at once - watch your heart rate - take a little back at a time.

Mile 15 - 12:15 - I managed to pick it up a little bit - feeling encouraged

Mile 16 -  14:50 - I decided that I would take my GU a little at a time and hopefully it would stay down - this meant that I would lose even more time but if it worked I could still manage a PR.

Mile 17 - 13:05 - It's apparent that this was not going to be pretty - I started running what I call "stupid" - kind of wobbly, my hands and lips are tingly and my run has turned into a shuffle/walk/shuffle

Mile 18 - 14:37 - Things have not improved stomach still unhappy, hands and lips still tingly, I see 2 police officers ahead and I stumble until I get to them and ask for help.

The police sit me on the curb and get the EMT's to come and check me out.  My blood pressure is ok and because of my age they have the paramedics come and do an EKG and check my blood sugar because I get hypoglycemic.  My blood sugar is in the low side of ok and the EKG is fine.  But, they want me to go to the ER for IV fluids.  It's at this point that I started to cry and proceed to tell them that I can't go to the ER because it's my birthday and I want my medal.  In hindsight, I feel bad for the young EMT's that were helping me - they didn't want me to continue.

Fortunately for me, my friend Tresa was behind me in the race and when she got to us she stopped.  I knew that her goal for the race was to finish so I asked her if she'd mind walking with me so I could finish and get my birthday medal.  Without hesitation she agreed and the EMT's reluctantly agreed to let me continue once we confirmed that I had my phone with me.  There was a convenient store across from where I was sitting so while I signed the papers for the EMT's, Tresa bought me a bottle of Coke and that was my fuel for the remaining 8 LONG miles.

There were a lot of tears during the last 8 miles.  Lots of questions about what happened, what did I do different, and I'll admit lots of feeling like a loser and being embarrassed.  Perfect course, perfect weather and I couldn't perform. Every once in a while I tried to pick it up to a shuffle, but by now I had no fuel on board and I didn't dare take any GU. At one point I questioned signing up for the Patriot half iron distance race - telling myself that I must be crazy to think I could do something like that when I couldn't perform under "perfect" conditions.

We finally reached the mile 25.5 and I pick it up to a shuffle - not much of a shuffle but not walking.  I can hear people cheering now and see the finish and continue to pick it up - I managed to cross the finish line at an 8:29 pace.  There were lots of tears at the finish line and Gwen was there to hold me up.

The result of this race is really hard to swallow and it certainly is not the birthday present I wanted, but from where I sit now, I have 2 choices - I can walk away from running and triathlon or I can move forward and re-define success.  I love riding my bike, swimming at Walden Pond and crossing the finish line so walking away isn't an option so success will have to be re-defined.

My new definition of success in a long distance race is understanding that sometimes no matter how hard you train and how mentally prepared you are, your body can be just as much of a variable as the weather and the course.  I know that I fought as hard as I could to finish the race, I didn't give up or surrender when it would've been easier than walking 8 long miles - that is SUCCESS!!!