Ironman Chattanooga 2017 - I was the best damned athlete I could be

My apologies, but this is going to be long because its more than just the day of the race, its the entire experience.

Gwen and I flew out of Boston early in the morning , Wednesday, September 20th and we arrived in Nashville, TN long before lunch time.  After we got our rental, we had the opportunity to explore the Nashville area.  We found a great little place for lunch and got some suggestions of places to see before we headed to Chattanooga.  We poked around a bit, went in some truly touristy shops, looked at some leather boots (nope - didn't buy any - no place to put cleats).  We weren't sure of 'rush' hour traffic so we headed off to Chattanooga - which is in a different time zone than Nashville - who knew.

Its about a 2 hour drive between the two cities but its all highway and there are some incredible views along the way.  Once we arrived in Chattanooga our first 'challenge' was how to get into the condo we rented.  It was rather comical but once we figured it out the inside was a lovely surprise.  We were only about 2 miles from Athletes Village and the Tennessee River.

God bless Gwen, I had my first meltdown when we drove to the river and went to check it out.  I started to cry and could barely breathe ( I was assured afterwards that this is normal).  The river looked enormous, far bigger than the Merrimack River, and I think I told Gwen I didn't want to do the race any more, that it was far beyond my abilities and what the hell was I thinking.  We met a couple of girls from Canada that had just gotten out of the water and talked to them for a bit.

Breakfast of Champions

Thursday morning Gwen and & hung out on the deck of our condo - note Little Debbie was part of every breakfast -  before heading to Athlete's Village.  I'm going to blame taper because I was 'wearing' my emotions on my cuff all weekend.  I cried at every table I went to.  The enormity of all of it was overwhelming.  I can't say enough about how wonderful all of the volunteers were.

For my non-triathlon friends, Athlete's Village is more like an expo - but on a much smaller scale.  And check-in - for this race anyway consisted of:
Table 1 - Show your ID & USAT card... tears
Table 2 - Get your wristband - this must stay on until after the event is over... more tears
Table 3 - Pick up backpack containing 5 bags that will be used to prepare for race day.... more tears
Table 4 - Pick up timing chip and have it activated... and more tears

 After we got all my 'stuff' we headed off to pick up Oz from Tri-Bike Transport.  I was really happy to get my bike back.  We brought her back to the condo and then headed out to drive the bike and run course.  It was pretty cool driving thru Georgia knowing that I was going to be spending about 6 hours there on Sunday with Oz.

On Friday I needed to do my shake out ride, make sure nothing needed adjusting.  I had the opportunity to ride with Charlie Catalano, one of Peej's athletes who was also doing the race. It was great to meet him and he's such an
inspiration.  After our ride, I headed back to the condo and Gwen and I headed out to take in Rock City/Lookout Mtn.  We had a great time and it was beautiful.... breathtaking.  Then we headed back to Nashville to pick up Peej from the airport.

Saturday was 'Pancake Day'.  Charlie and I went for a quick swim, just to get a feel for the water and then it was time for pancakes.  It was great to have breakfast with Charlie, his wife Chas, Gwen and Peej.  It was so enlightening to listen to Charlie and Peej talk about what the kept them alive - insulin and how to manage it and still have an active life.  After breakfast things started getting very real - time to pack all those bags and bring them and Oz back to Athletes Village.

Not sure why but I slept pretty good and felt pretty good, nervous, but good.  As I had my breakfast I finished get all my stuff together and we headed off to Athletes Village.  Once there I took care of making sure Oz was ready to go, dropped off the rest of the bags and then we got on the bus and headed to the swim start.

 The Swim - 1:15:19 1:48/100 yds.
I am always so anxious about swim starts, once I get in the water and get knocked about a couple of times I'm ok.  When I signed up for this race I didn't realize until after I hit enter that A-the start is a jump into the water and B-last year was not wetsuit legal. But this swim.... OMG .... it was awesome.  The way this start is set up you can't really see the swim start until you're almost on top of it. Once you see it the volunteers are yelling at you to go .... so no sitting down to pop in -you just go!!! And my race was underway.  Another nice thing about this start was that they had a floating "lily pad" - for lack of a better term an inflatable min-dock- maybe 100ish yards from the where you jumped in  This little dock made my race, it gave me the opportunity to get my heart rate down, get the water out and adjust my goggles and find the first buoy and I was off.  When we jumped in, the sun was to our backs and you could see the fog and haze just above the water it was so pretty so I didn't mind that one of the things that was in my race plan was to stop and take in the moment,  and I did just that.  I stopped and took in my surroundings - holy crap I'm in the middle of the Tennessee River - its beautiful. was beautiful.    and the next thought - I'm swimming a friggin' Ironman!!! I got here!!!! Ok - time to get moving.  It what seemed like a very short amount of time I saw the red buoys.... the way out of the river was just beyond that.  As I got closer the buoys - maybe 100 yds - there was a female athlete holding on to a kayak and the kayaker was trying hard to encourage her to finish her swim. As I got close to her I tried to talk to her, I told her we were almost done that the stairs were just beyond the red buoys.... I did manage to get her to start swimming again.  I hope she finished!

I'm ready to go back to Chattanooga because I loved this swim start so much.

The Bike - 102.5 miles 8:06

It never occurred to me that I wouldn't finish the bike portion of this race.  The course was so manageable - not easy - but manageable. During training I had purposely done a lot of hills so that I'd be prepared.  I thought this course, for the most part, was really pretty.  When you cross the state line from Tennessee into Georgia, the Georgia State Troopers are out of their cruisers welcoming you to Georgia - pretty cool. 

Here are a couple of things from the bike that I'm really pleased about

• Grabbing water bottles at aid stations - pouring the water over me, drinking, throwing the bottle away and not falling over or hitting anything
• Watching and following the fast age groupers down a descent - taking the same fault-line and remembering that fault-line the second time around
• Keep my head in the game on the second loop - even though it was very, very lonely.  Said good bye to each hill and the various baby cows and the steer with the humongous horns.

Leaving Special Needs

'Special Needs'  - I finally understand how the heck that works.  I had read a post about freezing your extra water/nutrition bottles the night before and putting them in a throw away cooler.  Boy did that work great!!!! I also put a can of the sparkling cranberry juice in the bag.  That juice never tasted so good and my bottles were slushy -  a win-win. 

This is also where I yelled at my coach for the first time!!!! Sorry Peej! My feet were absolutely on fire - major hot spots on the balls of both of feet.  I was trying to adjust my socks hoping to fix the problem and Peej was trying to be helpful, and was 'strongly' reminding me that I needed to get moving to make the cutoff - my response 'I KNOW - I'M GOING!. 

The hot spot problem continued the remainder of the day unfortunately and it's hard to pedal effectively when you're curling your toes.

In the end, I just ran out of time.  It was hard to accept but I wasn't going to argue with the volunteer when I was told I needed to get in the van (unlike another woman on the course) but I will admit that I ugly cried.  Not a sob but a full out ugly cry.

It took a couple of days to put my day in perspective and I'll readily admit that it was very difficult to see everyone walking around on Monday with their much deserved finishers shirts and medals.  I thought it was going to be tough facing everyone when I came home - I could not have been more wrong about that.  I have wonderful friends and teammates who made sure I understood what I had accomplished - even though I didn't finish I did do all the work to belong at the start line.

So I walk away from race day knowing that I was the best athlete that I could be on that day - no more, no less. 

I also gained more insight to what my 'why' was for doing the race and it wasn't what I thought.  As I headed to the start line my 'why' was to let Walter and Melissa know that I was healing and that I had found a way to move forward.  The reality is,  Walter and Melissa already knew that, I'm the one that needed to know that I'm healing and that I've found a way to move forward without leaving Walter behind.

Ironman Chattanooga - I will be back - and watch out, next time will be for me!!!

My First Swim Race and Only 45 days to IM Chattanooga!!!!

I did the Mighty Merrimack Open Water Swim Race on Sunday, August 5th.  Peej and I decided that this would be great training opportunity.  The only question going into race day was whether to wear my wetsuit or my swimskin. Peej ultimately left the decision up to me and come Sunday morning I left my wetsuit at home so I wouldn't be tempted.  I wasn't worried about swimming the distance without my wetsuit - I was more concerned about my mental confidence of covering the distance in the allotted time for #IMCHOO.

I finished the swim in 2 hrs, 24 mins.and the actual distance ended up at 2.3 miles.  While my swim was 4 mins over my goal, the first mile was upstream and into the wind - who knew the wind could make a difference when you're swimming!!!  In the end, my concerns about time was unwarranted as I had some great positives that I took home - along with a 1st Place medal!!!! Some of my takeaways:

- Never overwhelmed by the size of the river - this was a great confidence boost

- I was able to rein in my nerves and get my heart rate down to a level I could maintain

- Didn't panic when the current kept pushing me out to the middle of the river

- Never once contemplated cutting the course and turning back at the buoy for the 1 mile swim

Boston Triathlon Team representing at the Mighty Merrimack

Having  Janice Biederman &  Jessica Douglas to share the day with was awesome. 

(For my non-triathlon friends - beside providing some warmth, a wetsuit also provides a little extra buoyancy which helps you go a bit faster.  A swimskin doesn't provide any buoyancy but is worn over the top & shorts that you're going to wear for the rest of your race - it just streamlines you a bit and keeps the pockets on your top from filling up with water and making you go slower.  Why is this an important question - the temperature of the water on race morning determines whether or not you can wear a wetsuit - IM Chattanooga is non-wetsuit.)  

A few highlights from training so far - 

I've been riding a lot of different routes in areas that I'm not familiar with.  I do this for a couple of reasons one - I like seeing different scenery but the bigger reason is to help with my race day prep.  I won't be able to ride the bike course before the race so I'm hoping that by riding in different areas it will help my confidence being in unfamiliar terrain and still maintain my nutrition.  So far so good, I've only had one spot that I got off my bike and walked up a hill.  Afterwards I was pretty mad at myself because I could've made it up it - but I'll ride that route again and get that hill.... it was definitely mind over matter.

I think that I'm finally getting much better at my nutrition on the bike thanks to help from Laura Moretti.  I've started using CarboPro in my hydration bottles and it's helping me get more calories in without eating so much.  So far it has not had any ill effects on my stomach so that's a real positive.  Speaking of hydration, we were concerned about needing to stop at the aid stations to refill a third water bottle but I found that I'm comfortable with carrying the bottle in my jersey pocket so I can just toss and go !!!! 

My running is still a work in progress.  Thanks to Jess Douglas I'm having less pain and swelling and have been able to get most of my long runs in with minimal discomfort.  I still need to be careful and when I run hills if they are steep coming down I need to walk.  I've also been practicing timing my hydration, specifically when and how long will I allow myself to walk.  So far, its been a success and is starting to become muscle memory.

That's it for now... next up Ironman 70.3 Maine.... yum ..... lobster dinner

My 3rd Patriot Half Ironman

I wasn't sure how this was going to go.  The weather this Spring hasn't been very conducive to OWS (open water swimming). I was only able to get in 3 swims at Mystic Lake the rest of my swimming has been done in the pool and at my lessons with Stacy Sweetser at Sweetwater Swim..  I knew I had the distance I was just concerned about sighting practice and executing what I'd learned in my lessons with my wet suit on.

Another thing of concern was the run.  I mucked up my knee the beginning of May - no meniscus or ACL damage,  per my ortho  - but I haven't been able to run more than 3.5 miles in prep for the race.

My cycling however, has been going really well and Adena and I rode the course several times so I was really familiar with it and where the turns and hills were.

Race Day Morning - As always the begins really early - 3:00 AM.  I was picking Adena up and I wanted to make sure I was on time.  The weather was rather dismal as we headed out and there were those little lightening bolts on the weather app that had me a bit concerned.  As we were setting up it started raining and was foggy.  This is the first triathlon I've done where it was raining.  I've done running races in rain and snow but all 3 sports.... this was going to be something new and had me a little unsettled.

Swim - 54:06 - This was a 3 mins 26 second course PR and a 53 second overall PR!!!!
The swim start for this race is time trial start which means that you start 2 x 2 every 5 seconds.  Adena went in ahead of me and I tried to stay behind for a couple of people - just so she could get going.  I knew she'd be fine after that and would probably finish ahead of me.

I was really surprised that I PR'd in this swim - I felt like I was really struggling and that it just wasn't going to be my swim day.  But, I kept trying to use the things that Stacy taught me.  I tried the 'Mississippi' - that's one of the strategies she gave me to help with my breathing, that wasn't working so I just kept talking to myself.  Reminding myself to sight.... it was really hard - and I got kicked in the head a few times which was a little unsettling.  And of course, the doubt crept in... would I be able to swim an Ironman distance... ok... no time for that.  And then another strategy Stacy gave me came to mind... keep moving forward.... don't just take a stroke but take it to move forward.  That seemed to really help me get back on track and finished up.

T1 - 6:26 too long
This year we had wetsuit strippers so I should've been able to get in and out of transition faster but with everything being so wet it was really tough.  And I got my socks on but then had to take one of them off again because there was sand and stuff in them.  But I didn't dawdle and went as quickly as I could.

Bike - 3:44:31 An overall PR... not by much but a PR!
This went really well and I was able to accomplish a few things that made me really pleased.  I keep my gels in a flask and last year my tri-top had pockets similar to my bike jerseys so it was easy.  My new tri-top has different type of pocket that you slide things in from the side.  I only had one short ride pre-race to practice on so I put more gel packets in my bento box, just in case.  But I was able to grab it easily and even use both sides of my jersey.... YAY - I'm getting more comfortable and confident letting go of my handlebars - even when its windy.

It was great to see my Somerville RoadRunners, E3 friends and my new Boston Triathlon Team mates and friends on the course.    I was really happy when Jana Richtrova went by me and I was almost finished my first loop - in the past I was further behind.

T2 - 6:32 - again too long
Again, I think a lot of the trouble  was because stuff was everywhere.  My things were under a bunch of other things, mine and others.  Again, did my best and didn't dawdle and headed out.

Run - long
As I headed out Peej joined me for the first little bit to check on me and my knee.  We chatted for a few minutes and we were running at a slower pace but one that we decided I should stay at ... but most importantly - to be smart about it, if my knee started to hurt I was to stop.

While I'm really happy about the PR in my swim and bike, I'm equally as happy with my run, even though I had to walk after mile 8ish.  Up to that point I ran continuously - walking only thru the aide stations.  At mile 4ish, I did walk a little longer to talk to another athlete that was having a really bad run.  She was to the point that she couldn't hold down any fluids and she wasn't sure about continuing.  We chatted a bit, and the only advise I could give her was what my coach would've told me - sometimes its important to call it day so that you don't end up in the ER or ruin the rest of the season.  But then I picked it back up and kept going.  Around mile 6ish my knee started to talk to me a little and by mile 8ish I decided that this wasn't my A race and that I needed to preserve my knee and not do anything stupid - or as my coach and ortho  said 'Be smart'.

Overall, I'm really pleased with everything about my day and the improvement I see and feel.  And I was so happy that Adena had a great experience - I love my chosen hobby and was glad to share the winter training with her.

Ironman Chattanooga is 14 weeks away

Dream Big
Work Hard
Cherish the Journey!!!!!

Assessments, Race Wheels, Pee Sticks and other happenings.. 21 weeks until Chattanooga

Well, I think spring is finally here and that means that most of my training is now outside.  I run outside year-round but now I can move my long bike rides outside too.  There is however, a good and a bad side to being outside..... the bathroom, fridge, and extra food are not in the other room.  Its easy to forget, as much as I hate riding on the trainer, how convenient it is to have your bike in your kitchen.

Assessments - For most people, coaches refer to this as 'testing', to see where you are, gauge your improvement and set goals and paces for your season.  I have a really hard time with these - so much so that I was able to beg my way out of my swim 'test' last year.  It just seems to get into my head and is a pass or fail.  Logically, I know that's not what it is but my brain just goes to an all or nothing place.

My first thought was to try and beg my way out of my swim test - so I texted Peej and got a very short, simple response - "IM".  That kinda took care of that so I decided that I needed to come up with a better term and way of looking at this phase of my training, especially when it comes to my swimming.  I came up with 'assessment' - to me this is about more than speed.  Its about how did I feel, was I able to keep my form, was I able to stay focused.  This seemed to help and I went into my 'assessments' for each sport with a new outlook - yes, I care if  my pace is picking up but I also care about how I feel and how quickly after the exertion I recover and my heart rate and breathing comes down.

Race Wheels - Over the winter I decided that I would buy 'race' wheels for Oz. For my non-cyclist friends - race wheels are typically carbon and much lighter than regular wheels.  They offer a smoother, more forgiving ride.  But they also offer a challenge, which I found out about over the weekend - the wind catches them and moves the bike more than regular wheels.  Something new to learn.... but they make Oz look a bit fierce!

Pee Sticks - I know - a weird topic.  I've started reading Roar, by Stacy Sims - (thanks Stacy Sweetser for the recommendation).   The premise of the book is that women are not pint size versions of men and simple making things smaller and pink won't meet a woman's unique needs.

One of the first things I read about was 'pee sticks'.  You've all seen them doctor's offices - nothing fancy.  Stacy uses this quick and easy stick to help her ensure that she's hydrated.  But it can also offer extra insight into how recovered you are and even if you need more carbs.  Being the data nerd that I am and former nurse, I'm finding this helpful and another training tool - if helps keep me on my toes and hydrated.

Other Happenings....

Boston Triathlon Team - I went for my first group ride with my new tri team.  These guy were so great and waited for me at every intersection - God Bless them - I'm much slower than they are and add the hills of Harvard to mix and now you're talking turtle slow.

Patriot Half Course - Drove down to E. Freetown and rode the bike course 2 times.  It was an interesting ride - I had 2 Adena/Adina's !!!

Swim Lessons - I 'graduated' from my private lessons at Sweetwater Swim Studio and feel more confident about the Chattanooga swim, with or without my wet suit.  Thank you Stacy for your patience!

Journey to Chattanooga..... 28 weeks to go

It has been a great couple of weeks of training with some surprising successes. I figured this would be a great time to update my blog so when it gets hard and I doubt myself I can come back and read that a good week is possible.

Up to this point training has been similar to previous 'off-season's - a mix of swim-bike-run throughout the week but with the time schedule moved up a bit.  The past couple of years I wouldn't hit the distances on the bike or in the pool until late-March early April.

The past couple of weeks however, the intensity of my bike rides has increased a lot - or so it seems to me.  In a recent cycling class with Peej we were doing short bursts at maximum watts and in the final couple of bursts I managed to hit 446 watts -for me this is huge since my average is around 120.  Needless to say I was anticipating that my legs would feel pretty trashed the next day and possible sore - I was wrong - I felt fine the following day and was able to do my workouts and hit my targets.

 I've also started having 3 days a week with double workouts and seem to be always running on tired legs.  The surprising part is that this week I seem to be able to run and bike at higher intensities than would've thought possible, and even my swims are getting stronger.  I recently did a long swim workout (2,800 yards) and the last 200 yards were at the same pace as the first 200 yards and I was able to keep my form.

I know that my training will have its ups and downs through this amazing journey and need to celebrate not only successful training weeks like the past couple weeks but also the weeks that I struggle thru knowing that those weeks are even more important.  I need to honor those tough weeks and remember - which in the moment is always hard and I count on my friends and coach to remind me - are the weeks that will help make me stronger.

Holy Crap - I signed up for a full Ironman triathlon!!!

It's been a little over a month and I go from excited to scared to 'what the hell did I do'.  Peej and I had been talking about me signing up for a full Ironman since last year but talking about it and actually hitting the submit button..... a big difference.

From what I've been reading about doing a race this length is accepting that you have the take the conditions that you're given on that day and adjusting your plan and goals accordingly.  And I get it - its a huge commitment and you need to keep your head in the game. However, who knew that just selecting a race was going to be the first obstacle.

Originally I had planned on doing Ironman North Carolina - aka Beach to Battleship.  I had decided on this one because it's later in the year and it would give me more time to train outside.  I diligently followed both Facebook groups, trying to learn as much as I could, not only about the race itself but how other triathletes were preparing, the obstacles they were dealing with and how they were overcoming them.  I was heartened by the camaraderie within the group.  As the race got closer there were postings popping up saying there was not going to be a full IM in 2017.  A lot of these postings were ' my friend - who's in the know' kind of postings but never anything definitive.

Unfortunately these 'rumors' turned out to be true so I needed to find another venue.  So I started looking at Rev3's Cedar Point in Ohio - another race that's later in the season - again rumors were swirling that turned out to be true - no race in 2017.

So I was back to the drawing board - my other late season options were Louisville, Chattanooga or Maryland.  Maryland was quickly ruled out because in 2 years its had really lousy conditions and the logistics of the race are tough.  Looking at Louisville and Chattanooga - Peej and I decided that Chattanooga would be the best fit for me.  And so - I signed up and realized right away that I needed to get my lodging in place as well.  Done and done..... now comes the hard part.... training my butt off to make my big dream.... my goal.... come to fruition.

Marathon training ends before it really begins

The plan was to run Rehoboth Beach again this year.  Peej and I had talked and felt that I may even have another PR in me... not 20 mins but a PR nonetheless.

I went for a ride on Oz (my bike) on a beautiful, sunny Friday afternoon and was hit by a car.  I was lucky because the driver was going slow when she took the right at the lights without signaling or looking.  I was taken to the hospital and Oz was taken to the police station.  Mind you, I was a bit upset when I saw - from the back of the ambulance - the officer stick Oz in the trunk with half of her hanging out.  Once at the hospital they did an MRI to make sure my spleen and kidneys were ok because my back hurt and they cleaned up my elbow and checked my hip.  When the results came back the ER doctor told me - "I have good news - your spleen, kidneys and ribs are fine.  The bad news is you have pneumonia."  That explained the coughing that I thought was just leftover from a cold.  Peej and I talked and decided that the goal for my race would now be to just enjoy it - no trying to PR because of the time I was losing while I waited for my lungs to clear up.

My lungs started to feel much better and I could run without needing my inhaler - YAY - training is back on track.  I did a nice 11 mile long run with Gwen and we made plans to run Battle Rd the following weekend - one of our favorite places to run in the fall.

Training came to a crashing halt - literally - during the week when I went out for an easy 6 mile run and caught my toe on something and fell - hard.  I hit so hard that I broke my glasses (I've never been so grateful that I bought eye glass insurance), the arm of the glasses was embedded in my forehead and I was bleeding profusely.  So, another trip to the hospital in an ambulance.  This time no surprises but stitches and a concussion.  My season is over - no Rehoboth Beach.

I know withdrawing from the race was the right thing to do.  It took 2 weeks for me to be able to run without my head hurting or throbbing.  My first attempt was a run/walk which was frustrating.  This week I was finally able to run without walking, but everything is very slow.  Peej continues to reassure me that my 'speed' will come back and that I won't lose all my fitness.

So I'm officially on an off-season break - something I haven't done in quite awhile.

Timberman 70.3 2016 1 hour 2 min. PR!!!

So much went right with Race Day it’s hard to know where to start.

Heading into to race day there had been a lot of concern that the race would not be wetsuit legal. The Sunday before the race the water temperature was 79 degrees, wetsuit legal is 76.1 for age-groupers. Fortunately, the week leading up to the race featured cooler nights and a little bit of rain.  Hard to believe that Lake Winnipesaukee was almost 80 degrees. Phew!!!

Swim – 54:59 (2:29/100 yds.) 13.5 min. course PR and overall PR

I’m so happy with this time.  I worked really hard all season on my swimming.  I did a lot of it without my wetsuit so that I would have to work on body position – and truth be told, it was so damned hot all summer the thoughts of trying to get my wetsuit on was going to be a workout and not worth it.  I also swam in Mystic Lake a lot because it’s bigger than Walden Pond (although I still love Walden), has buoys to practice sighting and has more variable conditions – i.e. changing winds and waves. 

Because I had a hard time on the swim last year I spent the morning reminding myself of all the open water swimming I’d done and to swim my own race.  I lined myself up at the back of my age group to keep out of the fray as much as possible.  When the gun went off, I took off with my group, the water was really low so no dolphin diving, I just started.  I kept reminding myself to swim my own race – to stay within myself – and I’d be successful.  Holy smokes – I’m at the first buoy – ok keep moving. As the next group of swimmers catch up to me I’d get a bit jostled but it gave me the opportunity to draft a little – try and catch some of the bubbles, stay in a pocket as long as I could.

Another thing that I changed was how I sight.  I had been taught to lift my eyes out of the water like a crocodile, however I never really saw anything but water.  When I was watching the Men’s Triathlon during the Olympics I noticed that they were lifting there head up out of the water to sight – I decided if they could use that technique then so could I – HUGE difference (see picture – I swam pretty darn straight). 

 

First time I've ever stayed this straight

I’m sure there’s a few people that can relate – every time I see a picture or video of a swim start it makes me almost nauseous and very hesitant.  During one of my sighting ‘looks’ I noticed that ‘my’ swim was just like the pictures I’d seen – holy crap – don’t panic – keep moving.

T1 – 5:47

I thought I was quicker than this because for the first time ever I tried to jog to my bike – still not very successful running with my bike shoes on – work in progress

Bike – 3:57 - 26 min. course PR    Fastest speed – 40.6 mph

All of the hill repeats, 120% FTP workouts and hilly training routes really paid off (Thanks Coach Patricia Brownell).  I’m not a great climber, I’m not even a good one, but I’ve worked hard to get stronger and more consistent.  Of course, anyone riding near me going uphill probably thinks I’m a wee bit crazy because I sing or talk to myself in beat to the cadence I’m trying to keep – it also keeps me from either holding my breath or hyperventilating.

There are a ton of hills on this course with 2 that are killers, one is long and the other one is really steep.  First up is the long, killer one.  I took the hill in my steady but slow pace, concentrating on a) staying out of the faster rider’s way, b) breathing and c) my cadence.  There were a number of people walking this hill.  I’m not sure if it’s technically being ‘chicked’ but one of the walkers was a guy that was almost ½ my age.  All I could think was ‘dude – get on your bike, I’m way older than you’. 

During the out and back portion, I worked hard to stay within my plan and not get sucked into the pack and go too fast.  I knew if I did I’d pay for it on the way back. Before I knew it, I was turning onto Brown Hill Rd. (mile 41ish) the scene of my little crash last year and the second hill – this one is really snotty.  I’ll admit that I did breathe a little sigh of relief when I passed the scene of my crash.  At the end of the street you take a left and the hill is standing there, a little bit like a wall and if you weren’t prepared and in the right gears you’re (or at least me) going to have a hard time.  There were more people walking on this hill but I wasn’t surprised.  I hit the hill, knowing I had a short window of pain and the worst of the hills was done. 

You get a lot of nice downhills for all the work that you do and this year some of the really long downhills had been repaved, this meant I could ‘fly’.  I don’t have my bike computer set up to show me how fast I’m going – it can either be discouraging (going up a hill) or scary (flying down a hill) – so I go by my comfort level.  On the longest, newly paved, downhill section I pedaled until I had no more gears and then I let Oz fly.  I got to the edge of my comfort zone and then let my toes go a little over before I started to feather my brakes but I still went 40.6 mph – on a damn bike – and it is pretty cool to fly up the next hill.

Nutrition – I did pretty good on this – I had one tiny issue though – I forgot to open the Ziploc baggy with my Farbars.  I’ve gotten a lot more stable on my bike but I have a long way to go and I spent a few minutes trying to figure out a plan that wouldn’t require me stopping.  I decided that if I used up my Barnana Bites first then I could open the baggy and get it back into my bento box without losing any.  I also knew that if I did lose a couple of the squares I had extra GU with me.  I went with this plan and SUCCESS – not one square was lost.  I have to say that I was pretty damned pleased with myself. 

I get back to T2 – no crashes feeling really strong!!!!

T2 – 4:45 (it felt faster)

Run – 3:06 - 24 min. course PR

This is the only portion that I wasn’t that happy with.  I did better than last year but still struggle to not walk.  I made sure that I kept moving forward and I didn’t linger at the aide stations (volunteers – You’re the best!).  I spent the time trying to figure out how to make this portion stronger, I can run for hours without stopping so I need to work with Peej (my coach) to figure this part out.  We do agree that I really struggle in the heat – and I did keep hydrating, putting ice in my hat, down my shirt and shorts to keep my core cool.  I also think I need to figure out my fueling on my run – I may not be getting enough but I’ll be working with Marni @ TriMarni Nutrition and Coaching. 

Overall Time 8:09 – 1hr 2 min. course PR 

My mini-training 'camp' weekend

My second 1/2 Ironman distance race this year is 4 weeks away and training is right on track according to my coach - Patricia Brownell - Apex Coaching Group.

My training partners were going to be busy this weekend - Janice Biederman was racing Lake Placid, Adena Schutzberg was going to CA for her new job and Linda Davey was racing Whistler 70.3 - so I decided to have a mini training camp for myself.  I was able to get a motel on the run course and right on Lake Winnipesaukee.  I mentioned my plans to my friend and traveling 'gnome' Dan McCallum and he was interested in joining me.  I talked to Peej and she made sure that my training plan took full advantage of the opportunity to train on the course.

Friday
Dan and I arrived at Lake Winni mid-afternoon and decided to ride the bike course before our swim.  Dan has never done this race so he was seeing it for the first time.  This was an opportunity to figure out where he was going to turn around and head back to the motel - the traveling 'gnome' forgot that he had a birthday party in CT on Saturday afternoon.

Sunset on Lake Winni

Last year at the beginning of the swim I had a bit of a panic attack, the buoys looked so far away that in my head it had to be more than 1.2 miles. My goal for this swim was to take some of that anxiety away.  I was glad to have Dan with me this time - he led the way and we stopped a couple of times so that I could take in the scenery but also so I could get a 'feel' for the enormity of Lake Winni.  The lake didn't disappoint - it was a bit choppy and there were a lot of waves from the boats.  When we turned around to head back to the motel we were battered about as it got quite a bite more choppy,  I had to breathe to my non-preferred side - which was really good practice.

By the way.... a local boater told us that they really like that we were wearing brightly colored swim caps and had our little buoys trailing along behind us.

Saturday
We decided to head out around 7:00 am to try and beat as much of the heat as possible and so Dan would be able to ride and have enough time to get to CT by mid-afternoon.

Before we took off there was a Lake Winni water ski marathon. It only happens one day a year, because the boaters have to get special permission - the boats go 70 mph (20 mph over the limit) and tow the water skier 200 ft behind them - 7 boats total.  They were a bit far from shore but we did see them as we were getting our gear together.

We headed out for our ride - and there is new pavement as you turn onto the street next to Sawyer's Ice Cream - which is a perfect post-workout stop.  I forgot how hard this course is, especially for someone who is not that great at climbing but it is what it is and at least the 'auto-pause' on my Garmin didn't go on.  Dan stayed with me for the first 15ish miles - when we hit Rt. 106 - where he headed back and I continued on.

I was pretty pleased with my ride.  My nutrition and hydration was spot on.  I stopped a couple of times to get more water, something I didn't do last year.  I also made a stop on Brown Hill Rd. - the scene of my crash at last years race - and Oz and I had discussion with the road and we came to an understanding that it wasn't allowed to knock me over this year.

I got back to the motel and headed out for my brick.  It was nice to see Brian Kearney and Kristin Lawhorn go flying by me.

Sunday

Pretty nice scenery

I headed down to Ellacoya for my run and walked into the park to the 'swim' start.  I spent a fair amount of time looking out at Lake Winni, imagining where the buoys are going to be and how far out they go.  Last year I had a bit of a panic attack because it looked like the buoys went forever.  After a bit I headed out to complete my run. 

Post-run cool down

I need to work on my post-workout nutrition.  My legs felt dead and I just didn't have any energy.  I pushed as hard as I could but had to resign myself to the fact that I wasn't going to hit my paces but I could enjoy running along Lake Winni and not let myself walk -  good race day training.

All in all it was a great weekend!!!

Patriot Half Iron - 2016

Sometimes the success of a race isn't determined by your time - sometimes it's how you feel about your performance and personal accomplishments.  That's how I feel about this year's race - which I know my coach, Patricia Brownell, is happy about.

The Swim - 1:02
While this took longer than last year (4 mins.) I am really happy my performance.  Going into my swim I wanted to control my start and not go out to fast and I wanted to sight better. Last year I went off-course a few times and even started to head towards the 'house', which if you swim at Walden Pond is what you sight as you head to the shore, only problem is that the 'house' was not near the swim exit. This year I stayed right on course, sighting more often, counting buoys and my strokes so I wouldn't forget to sight.  I even managed to calm myself at the beginning and swim 'my' swim.

While I'm happy that I succeeded in these goals, what I am most pleased with is that I didn't panic when I realized that this swim was a bit on the choppy, windy side.  I had gone swimming at Mystic Lake with my friend, Dan McCallum and it was a good thing that I did.  The lake is bigger and the conditions change depending on where you are on the lake and this includes windy choppy conditions. This gave me the confidence that I could manage the chop, stay calm and focused, resulting in a great swim!

The Bike - 3:49
I love riding my bike and have worked on a lot of things during the off-season, most of them to help me improve my balance, comfort level and confidence.  Last year I only drank one bottle of Skratch because I was really nervous about taking my hands off my handlebars.

My goal this year was to drink at least 3 bottles of fluids and hopefully 4.  The challenge for me is that the water stops on this course are located on slight uphills, which for most is probably not an issue, but for me it meant that I needed to let go of the handlebars of my bike, going uphill and toss a bottle and then grab another one.  I had been practicing on some of my long rides - not actually throwing bottles but the action and letting go of my handlebars riding slight uphills to try and get comfortable with the motion on the bike.  Mission accomplished!

Another goal was to improve on my nutrition and take in enough calories to get my run off to a good start.  Below is the plan:

• 5 GU's - 4 consumed
• 4 Farbars - 3 .5 consumed
• 2 bags Barnana bites - 1.5 consumed

Even with the windier conditions on the second loop I was able to keep my nutrition pretty much dead on.  Success!!!

I also executed my race plan, increased my average cadence from 66 rpms to 77 rpms - that was a huge success.  And even in the heat of the race I was able to clip-in without looking.  Last year I was about a mile into the ride before I was able to clip.

The Run - 3:00

This turned out to be the same time as last year.  I was hoping to be a little quicker this year given the huge PR I had at my marathon (20 minutes) but the reality is that I know I don't run well in the heat and we haven't had a lot of hot weather for me to practice in.  That being said, the big difference this year was that my splits were much more even and consistent.  I also discovered -duh - that Coke and GU and the same time can lead to a very unhappy tummy.

My Support Crew

I have never felt so special and fussed over at a race - Ladies you've spoiled me.  My friends Adena Schutzberg and Linda Davey volunteered for the race and made sure I had everything I needed before, during and after the race.  My coach, Patricia Brownell was there cheering me on while I was on the bike course as I came thru on my first loop and when I finished.  Linda and Peej joined me after I left transition on my run.  Linda decided at the last minute to run the entire 13.1 miles with me.  Not only did she keep me motivated (although she did say I might not like her in the end) she also made sure that I stayed cool and hydrated.  She also cheered on other runners on the course encouraging them - she should get a medal for Best Cheerleader!  Also, around mile 6 Peej showed up again and ran we us for a few minutes, checking to see how I was doing with my hydration, my IBS and pace.  

Hitting that Finisher's chute while not the same at the first time - is just as special and amazing.  

Adena used her extensive experience from the ultra-marathons that she has volunteered at and participated in to make sure that I got cooled down and re-hydrated post-race.

And just a little bit of bragging - there were a few 30, 40 & 50 year old guys that got 'chicked' by a 61 year old gal!!!

DREAM BIG
WORK HARD
CHERISH THE JOURNEY!!!!!

Ironman Timberman 70.3 - My First WTC Triathlon

This was my second 1/2 Ironman distance race this summer and it was a tough day at the "office". Timberman was my first Ironman brand event and it was very overwhelming.  Even though my coach, Patricia Brownell, and I had talked about it, it was more overwhelming than I expected.

I learned a lot about myself at this race - I can be very stubborn and very single-minded to finish what I start, even when others don't quite agree.  I also came away knowing what I want to get better at during the off-season and even a couple of ways to make that happen.

Because of the size of the race you have to check-in and rack your bike in transition the day before. This was a first for me, and I wasn't too happy about leaving Oz outside all night.  I was even more unhappy when it started thundering, lightening and outright pouring during dinner.  Thank you Jana Richtrova for reassuring me that Oz would be ok.

Race morning I woke up and got ready to head to transition at 4:45 am (thank you Beth Adams and Emily Clement for your hospitality) and Beth and I headed to Ellacoya State Park.  I was nervous but didn't feel overly anxious.  That didn't last long... once we parked and I headed to transition I started to get really overwhelmed, there were so many racers.  This was the first time I've done a large race.

The Swim: 1:08
I was in the first wave after the pro men and women.  This should have been good for me because I didn't have to wait around long in my wetsuit to get started.  The horn went off and my wave started.  I had a really, really hard time - the buoys looked so far away and Lake Winni looked so big.  I could barely go 4 strokes without needing to tread water.  I wasn't getting hit by other swimmers I was just in over my head race skill-wise.  Slowly, very slowly, I made my way from one buoy to the next, stopping frequently.  At one point, Beth swam up beside me to check on me and offered to stay with me until the end.  I thanked her and told her to swim her race.

After Beth left and I was on my own again I started to think about my bike - silly I know but I kept telling myself that if I didn't finish my swim, I wouldn't get to ride Oz and I love riding my bike.  And poor Oz sat out in the rain all night so I could have my ride.

When I made it to the first turn I started to get into a mini-rhythm and was moving, still slowly, buoy to buoy.  At the second turn as I headed to shore I looked at the shore and saw a house, from there I tried to pretend that I was at Walden Pond and headed to the house. It took a long time for me to reach that house.  When I got out of the water I was estactic and drained and looking forward to my ride.

Wetsuit strippers... can I get an Amen!!! That was wonderful!!!

The Ride: 4:23 (Actual 4:03)
My ride started out really good and I felt very confident that I could do this ride in the allowed amount of time.  The thing that I really needed to be cognizant of was my hydration and nutrition on this ride.  It was a really hot day and on the hill portions I knew I was going to be working really hard. Because of my balance issues, letting go of my handlebars to grab my water or nutrition has been a challenge and one that I have been working really hard to overcome.  I approached the 1st aid station slowly so I could check out the set-up so I'd be ready for the next one.

I had lots of riders going by me (read - flying by me) but I resisted the urge to try and keep up and stayed within myself and my race plan. As I approached the 2nd aid station I prepared myself to dump one bottle and pick up a gatorade.  Success - I felt pretty proud of myself - I know, it doesn't take much.

The aid station was also the turnaround point of the course. There is a short, steep little hill as you come around the corner.  There was a guy walking his bike up the hill who decide, just as I reached him, it was a good time to remount his bike and pull out - I managed to avoid him and did yell out "seriously dude" then grabbed a bottle of water and rode off from the aid station feeling pretty pleased.

The second half is a false-flat as you head back to Lake Winni so I settled back in, watched my power/pace and made sure that I was following my nutrition plan. When I hit mile 40 I knew that the last series of hard hills would be coming soon so I had a GU and planned to have water when I turned onto Brown Hill Rd. Because I had ridden the course before the race I knew that Brown Hill Rd was relatively flat so it would be a good place to drink. I made the turn and reached for the water bottle.  The bottle was slippery and I tried to keep it from falling and the next thing I knew I was on the ground with a mouthful of pine needles and dirt. My front tire had caught a rut in the road and everything happened so fast that I didn't even realize I was going to crash until I was on the ground.

Another rider stopped to see if I was ok and before I could even catch my breathe the police were there, and the bike mechanic/sag wagon and then an ambulance.  I conked my head, had some pretty good road rash on my shoulder and a pretty good cut on my knee (which had just finished healing from my fall Memorial Day). I think I frustrated the EMT's a bit because I was not ready to end my day.  First they wanted me to go to the hospital, when I wouldn't do that, they thought I should take the sag wagon back to Ellacoya.  I very nicely told them that I done most of the hard hills already and only had the one snotty hill that was around the corner left and I wasn't going to stop.  They cleaned me up and bandaged my knee.  I told them I would stop if I felt dizzy or anything else.  While all of this was going on the bike mechanic checked out Oz, fixed her seat, which had twisted, and said she was good to go too!

Off I went.  I made it up the 'snotty climb' and there was a bit of satisfaction that there riders walking up the hill and I was able to make it up, even though I'd lost some of my momentum. Shortly after that climb there's another steep little hill that I was climbing and there were a couple of people walking their bikes up but this pair had a friend in a car driving beside them.  As I got closer to them I thought the car would leave so I just kept making my way up the hill.  It got really obvious as I almost reached them that the car had no plans of moving so I started yelling at them - MOVE,,,,, PLEASE....MOOOVE!!! They finally got the message and go out of my way.  The rest of my ride was uneventful, I enjoyed the downhills although I was a little more cautious then I had been previously, probably because of my fall.  I continued to follow my hydration and nutrition plan and even managed to grab my back water bottle and put it back without the bottle or me falling - woohoo!

I was glad to see transition and the dismount line and knew that the hardest part was to come.

The Run 3:30

Heading out of transition I knew this was going to be ugly.  It was really hot and humid.  I tried running/slogging through the first couple of miles but it became apparent really quick that I was going to walk or not finish. My knee and my head hurt whenever I tried to run.  As I finished the first loop I saw Beth, Jerome and Jane and talked to Beth for a couple of minutes.  I had a couple seconds of tears when I realized that my time wasn't going to count because I was going to go over the 8 1/2 hour limit but then I saw a butterfly and knew that it would be ok... I just needed to toughen up and finish.

The finish chute - I was so glad to see the end and I cried - again - but this time because I had fought really hard for my finish and my medal.

Finish Time - 9:11 (this includes the 20+ minutes in the ambulance)

This was a tough day and having my team mates and friends shouting out encouragement kept me going and fed my heart when I started to get to much into my head.

Patriot Half - My First 70.3 Triathlon

Patriot Half - My First 70.3 Triathlon 

6/20/2015

The swim

Overall I’m happy with my time – it would’ve been even better if I hadn’t swam off course so many times.  I actually swam 2,351 yds @ 2:26/100 pace. 

I need to work on sighting better and managing the chaos.  At one point I had one person hook my left arm while someone else grabbed my right ankle.  It was only momentary but I all could think was – I’m going to drown and I only have 2 buoys left – God damn it!  I also almost got run over by a kayak!!!

I was happy that when I stood up I didn’t have any vertigo – that was huge!!!

T1

I lost a lot of time trying to get my wetsuit off.  I need to become more efficient at this.  I also was a little flustered when GU’s wouldn’t stay under the leg of my tri shorts. I had practiced this in my rehearsal but it was with my bike shorts and I wasn’t wet.   I lost a couple of them trying to run to the bike mount line.  Need to figure out where to put them until I get on my bike.

The Bike

I am really happy with this time – my goal was 4 hours and I did it in 3:44 and averaged 15 mph.  I had a little trouble initially trying to clip in with everyone watching but I just told myself to relax and take my time.  Once I did that I was off and I felt great then I realized that I had forgotten to take my watch off my wrist and put it on my bike.  I thought about how to remedy this for a bit because it would meant I had to let go of the handle bars with all these other bike whizzing by and tight turns that were congested.

Before I left T1 I had some coke so I knew I had some sugar on board giving me time to settle in and get thru the tight squeeze areas around Dunkin Donuts. A couple of miles in I decided to get some more nutrition on board so I had a couple of potatoes.  Now I had to fix my watch situation.  I decided I had 2 choices – stop to fix my watch or be courageous, slow down a little and switch it – I opted for the latter and was very proud of myself when I was successful.  Now I could settle into my race and tried to stay on race plan watts.  I also tried to be conscious of my fueling.  In hindsight, I could’ve done a better job on this aspect of my race, but at the time I thought I was doing a good job. 

I managed to get over the railroad tracks without losing any of my water bottles but I did see the water bottle carnage from the faster riders who lost theirs and carefully navigated Oz around the mess.

I had a lot of riders’ whiz by me and it seemed to me there was a fair amount of drafting going on but I didn’t worry about anyone but me.  I did pass 5 riders and they never passed me during the rest of the ride so that made me feel good.  I still struggle on hills but I am getting better at managing them and being conscious of ‘pulling’ up – which when I remember helps a lot.

I somehow pulled my groin muscle on my bike and so the further into the race when I tried to pull up on hills it ‘reminded’ me not always so gently that it wasn’t happy.  It wasn’t bad enough that I needed to stop and adrenaline helps a lot with the mind over matter. 

I’d practiced on the course 3 times prior to race so I knew that, for me, the last 2 hills, although short, were going to be snotty because they were the last 3 miles of the ride.  I just reminded myself of this and that once I got over them I was back to the beginning and time to get off and run.

T2

Again, this was slower than I would like but I didn’t fall over on my dismount and that was really important to me with my daughter, coach and team mates standing there.

The Run

Coming out of transition my daughter was standing there and I couldn’t help but stop and give her a hug and kiss – it was awesome.  Then my coach, Patricia Brownell, joined me for the first ½ mile or so to see how I was doing and how my stomach was doing.  I told her about how my groin hurt but other than that I was ok and my IBS, to that point wasn’t an issue. 

The paces that Peej has planned for me were slower than what I had been running lately and we had talked about it and she assured me that I’d want those paces.  The first 2 miles were sub 12 min. miles which were faster than she wanted me to run so I tried to slow them down.  I figured that it would happen organically because I planned to stop at each water stop for water, Gatorade and coke.  This was the first race that I didn’t wear my fuel belt and just had my gels. 

By mile 3 my groin had started to hurt more than I had anticipated so I had to come up with a plan on the fly because I wasn’t going to DNF at this point in the race.  I didn’t care if I had to walk the whole way – I’m just too stubborn and I had worked too hard, and even more important to me – Melissa was waiting for me at the end and her face is what kept me going.

Running up the hills seemed to hurt the most so I opted to walk those and run the flats.  At each aid station I took water, poured some ice down my shorts to help my groin muscle (I know - TMI), and alternated between coke and Gatorade.  Unfortunately the Gatorade didn’t always agree with me and I had to stop a couple of times to ‘get rid’ of it.

After the last aid station at mile 12 I knew I was close – I could feel it and when I saw Camp Cathedral I started to cry.  The last ¾ mile all I could do is cry and kept repeating to myself – ‘I did it! I did it!”

I’m still awed that I finished this and in under 8 hours. My friend and teammate took the series of pictures below and they sum up how I felt in that moment more than any words I have.  Thank you for these Jess!

Peej trying to reach over the fence since it's taller than she is.

I can't believe that I did it!

I see Beth waiting for me!

No words - just joy!

Sums up how I felt because there are no words!

 

There are so many people to thank and that helped me get to the start line but at the the top of my list is my daughter, Melissa Lawless.  You have no idea how much it meant to me to be able to share this with you. Melissa had never seen a triathlon and I'm sure she wasn't expecting it to be an all-day affair. But giving her a hug on my way out for my run and knowing that she was at the finish line made it an extra special day.

Also having my coach Patricia Brownell there was special - and she helped me keep my head on straight and re-assured me that I could do this distance.

And what can I say about my E3 Training Solutions teammates and coaches - each of you have been the best support system a girl could ask for - especially Jana Richtrova - who I've asked a million questions and Stephanie Feltman, when I was having a meltdown. There are no words to express my appreciation and gratitude.

The End Of My First "Triathlon Off-Season"

Having started this short journey as a runner there really was never an off-season.  My friends and I still ran outside all winter training for a spring marathon. This year however I decided that instead of a spring marathon that I'd like to do the next distance in triathlon - the half Ironman. This race consists of a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike ride and a 1/2 marathon (13.1 miles) run for a total distance for the day of 70.3 miles. Weather wise I couldn't have picked a better winter to do most of my training indoors. We had a blizzard, broke several snow records including the snowiest winter ever.

In triathlon there is an 'off-season' - where you focus on improving your performance and strength while not "training" for a specific race necessarily. I've  had a few people ask me which sport I was going to focus on during the offseason which leads me to think that's what some athletes focus more on one aspect and just keep a base in the others ... but I'm not sure. In my case my coach has me focusing on swimming and riding because those are the newest sports for me.

E3 Tri-Team has a swim coach, Karen Vasso, and she has been running open water swim classes on Thursday nights at MIT - which is a beautiful pool by the way. I have been attending class since October. The classes have gotten increasingly difficult - which they should - but I have struggled at times often feeling that my swim experience (read - speed) is far behind everyone else in the class. The support and encouragement that I get from everyone though is wonderful and it keeps me going back. I swam my longest distance a couple of weeks ago, 2600 yards - a little under 1 1/2 miles, and while it wasn't non-stop it's still a long way and a lot of time and if felt great!

E3 also holds indoor bike trainer classes at one of our sponsors - Landrys Bikes - which is ideal for me because my coach, Patricia Brownell, leads the class.  At the beginning of the session we do heart rate or power test to see where your fitness level is.  I had done this class last year and I increased my fitness level a lot of the past year.  As my coach put it - "Someone has learned how to pedal"!  That meant a lot to me, especially since I really love riding my bike.

The weather finally broke and I've been able to get some outdoor riding done and have even gone out by myself which was a huge accomplishment.  Its still a bit to cold for me to get into the open water which is frustrating but it will happen.

Tomorrow, May 10th is Mother's Day and my first race of the season.  Originally I had signed up for the triathlon but decided, with my coaches "help", to change to the duathlon because the water temperature was only 58-60 degrees.

In comparing tomorrow's race to my first race of last season, I am still nervous about getting to the start line but this time its not because I'm not sure I can do it - this time I KNOW I can do and that I really like it - its nervous anticipation and excitement.

Here we go - bring on Triathlon Season 2015!!!!

Rehoboth Beach Seashore Marathon - December 6, 2014

I picked this race because it was on my birthday and I  had heard really nice things about it from another runner and it didn't disappoint.

Until yesterday I thought there were 3 things that determine if a long distance race was a success:

• The course - this includes support, course markings
• The weather - this time of year for me than means no ice, temp above 30 and minimal wind
• Performance - Execution of my race plan - which can change based on the other 2 components

Yesterday I had a beautiful, flat, fast course that was well marked and supported. For this runner, I had perfect weather - low to mid 50's, overcast and minimal wind. Unfortunately, I didn't have the performance that I know I trained for, the one that I want for my birthday.

What follows is a chronology of my day - and hopefully, I've found a new definition of success.

Mile 1-3 -
Goal 12:10-12:15
Actual - 12:09, 12:04, 12:02 - I worked really hard to try and stay 'slow'

Mile 4-13 Goal 11:55 - 12:05
Actual - 11:54, 12:18 (GU), 12:00, 12:53 (BR stop), 11:29, 12:01, 11:50; 11:53 (remind myself to watch pace - too early to pick it up)

Mile 12 - 12:14 - I started to feel nauseous.

Pre-race I had come up with some mental strategies for the tough parts of the race. One of them was to think about how an individual that I know insisted that I must walk when I run because a 12:00 minute pace isn't running. I tried to use the anger that I felt to take my mind off how my stomach was feeling.  Those comments were hurtful but also pushed me to prove that I am a runner.

Mile 13 12:22 - I'm still not feeling well.  I'm competing in my first half iron distance triathlon in June and since the run is a half marathon distance my mental strategy now is to use this as training for that race.  I reminded myself how I've felt nauseous coming off  my bike this summer - don't panic I tell myself -  you know how this feels - its ok.

Mile 14 - 12:29 - I'm still not feeling well - stopping every 1/4 mile or so - reminding myself that my peers are uncomfortable and fighting too. My pace has slowed down but I'm still running. I'm doing a lot of self talk - don't try to get your pace back all at once - watch your heart rate - take a little back at a time.

Mile 15 - 12:15 - I managed to pick it up a little bit - feeling encouraged

Mile 16 -  14:50 - I decided that I would take my GU a little at a time and hopefully it would stay down - this meant that I would lose even more time but if it worked I could still manage a PR.

Mile 17 - 13:05 - It's apparent that this was not going to be pretty - I started running what I call "stupid" - kind of wobbly, my hands and lips are tingly and my run has turned into a shuffle/walk/shuffle

Mile 18 - 14:37 - Things have not improved stomach still unhappy, hands and lips still tingly, I see 2 police officers ahead and I stumble until I get to them and ask for help.

The police sit me on the curb and get the EMT's to come and check me out.  My blood pressure is ok and because of my age they have the paramedics come and do an EKG and check my blood sugar because I get hypoglycemic.  My blood sugar is in the low side of ok and the EKG is fine.  But, they want me to go to the ER for IV fluids.  It's at this point that I started to cry and proceed to tell them that I can't go to the ER because it's my birthday and I want my medal.  In hindsight, I feel bad for the young EMT's that were helping me - they didn't want me to continue.

Fortunately for me, my friend Tresa was behind me in the race and when she got to us she stopped.  I knew that her goal for the race was to finish so I asked her if she'd mind walking with me so I could finish and get my birthday medal.  Without hesitation she agreed and the EMT's reluctantly agreed to let me continue once we confirmed that I had my phone with me.  There was a convenient store across from where I was sitting so while I signed the papers for the EMT's, Tresa bought me a bottle of Coke and that was my fuel for the remaining 8 LONG miles.

There were a lot of tears during the last 8 miles.  Lots of questions about what happened, what did I do different, and I'll admit lots of feeling like a loser and being embarrassed.  Perfect course, perfect weather and I couldn't perform. Every once in a while I tried to pick it up to a shuffle, but by now I had no fuel on board and I didn't dare take any GU. At one point I questioned signing up for the Patriot half iron distance race - telling myself that I must be crazy to think I could do something like that when I couldn't perform under "perfect" conditions.

We finally reached the mile 25.5 and I pick it up to a shuffle - not much of a shuffle but not walking.  I can hear people cheering now and see the finish and continue to pick it up - I managed to cross the finish line at an 8:29 pace.  There were lots of tears at the finish line and Gwen was there to hold me up.

The result of this race is really hard to swallow and it certainly is not the birthday present I wanted, but from where I sit now, I have 2 choices - I can walk away from running and triathlon or I can move forward and re-define success.  I love riding my bike, swimming at Walden Pond and crossing the finish line so walking away isn't an option so success will have to be re-defined.

My new definition of success in a long distance race is understanding that sometimes no matter how hard you train and how mentally prepared you are, your body can be just as much of a variable as the weather and the course.  I know that I fought as hard as I could to finish the race, I didn't give up or surrender when it would've been easier than walking 8 long miles - that is SUCCESS!!!